Steve Spielberg has not contacted me yet, so I will write a little more. Now I am thinking that it may be Steve Sondheim who contacts me and wants to do a musical about a 57 year old blogster looking for her niche. That might even be better than the other Steve. I'm thinking Bernadette Peters in the lead. (Does the reader perceive a little bit of Walter Mitty syndrome here? I have had that for a while and I just let it play out until I forget about it. My nieces and sister-in-law might remember a trip to Grandpa George's funeral and trying to get out of the area in a major snowstorm, and me picturing be interviewed by Katie Couric for the heroic way I helped us all to survive without much food or water. (In reality, because of my brother-in-law's expert driving, we got to the airport in Atlantic City just fine and ate at the airport before the plane took off.)
Lately, I have taken to pretending to be on the food network when I am in the kitchen. This is especially prevalent after watching an episode of Ina Garten or Rachel Ray. I have become particularly adept at describing how I slice a tomato or smash the garlic with the flat side of a chef's knife to easily remove the skin. I learned this method from Rachel, by the way, after years of buying every garlic-skin-removing gadget on the market. Now that I have learned this easy method, I threw away the last clumsy gadget I had purchased for this purpose, but it popped out of the garbage and back into my anything drawer. This garbage phenomenon happens a lot at our house, but I will leave that for another blog entry. Hint: It has something to with Larry.
My food episodes are legendary to my immediate family and a small group of good friends. I have been told that I make good, tasty meals, but in reality, I am not a particularly good cook, and the reason has to do with handling things when they go wrong. To illustrate what happens when things get off track, one would have to look no farther than stuffed cabbage that never got made because the knife blade broke off and got stuck in the cabbage head while I was trying to get the cabbage core out, or the hand mixers blades getting stuck in the batter and causing a distinct burning smell when I was trying to make cookies. I keep trying because I want my sons to have good food memories from their childhood, but I have a feeling that instead, they will remember the chinese food, pizza and other take-out. They have certainly eaten many many good meals at restaurants through the years and we never required that they order off the children's menu...probably a throw back to my own spoiled upbringing when I was allowed to order shrimp cocktail, filet mignon and lobster. That's what happens when you are an only child and grand-daughter.
Alas, it is my friend Gwen's food that my son Jordan will remember, and both of my sons will remember the bountiful meals at their Aunt Aggie's table. And, of course, they will have many memories of their dad's delicious concoctions served at 10:00 p.m. I, too, have a few signature dishes, (including my roasted brussels sprouts that I learned about from Ina Garten), but I have a feeling that it is all the laughter about what did not turn out well, for which I will be remembered, and you know what? That's fine with me.
Lately, I have taken to pretending to be on the food network when I am in the kitchen. This is especially prevalent after watching an episode of Ina Garten or Rachel Ray. I have become particularly adept at describing how I slice a tomato or smash the garlic with the flat side of a chef's knife to easily remove the skin. I learned this method from Rachel, by the way, after years of buying every garlic-skin-removing gadget on the market. Now that I have learned this easy method, I threw away the last clumsy gadget I had purchased for this purpose, but it popped out of the garbage and back into my anything drawer. This garbage phenomenon happens a lot at our house, but I will leave that for another blog entry. Hint: It has something to with Larry.
My food episodes are legendary to my immediate family and a small group of good friends. I have been told that I make good, tasty meals, but in reality, I am not a particularly good cook, and the reason has to do with handling things when they go wrong. To illustrate what happens when things get off track, one would have to look no farther than stuffed cabbage that never got made because the knife blade broke off and got stuck in the cabbage head while I was trying to get the cabbage core out, or the hand mixers blades getting stuck in the batter and causing a distinct burning smell when I was trying to make cookies. I keep trying because I want my sons to have good food memories from their childhood, but I have a feeling that instead, they will remember the chinese food, pizza and other take-out. They have certainly eaten many many good meals at restaurants through the years and we never required that they order off the children's menu...probably a throw back to my own spoiled upbringing when I was allowed to order shrimp cocktail, filet mignon and lobster. That's what happens when you are an only child and grand-daughter.
Alas, it is my friend Gwen's food that my son Jordan will remember, and both of my sons will remember the bountiful meals at their Aunt Aggie's table. And, of course, they will have many memories of their dad's delicious concoctions served at 10:00 p.m. I, too, have a few signature dishes, (including my roasted brussels sprouts that I learned about from Ina Garten), but I have a feeling that it is all the laughter about what did not turn out well, for which I will be remembered, and you know what? That's fine with me.
posted by boomer blogster at 8:28 AM
8 Comments:
If you're going to imitate a television chef, why go with the johnny-come-latelies when you can always emulate Julia Child? All that additional wine should make food preparation much more fun (although, as Dan Ackroyd suggested in parody, much more dangerous).
As for the memories your children will have of your cooking, here's what I recall from my childhood -- tuna casserole, sloppy joe's, ketchup-based chili, porcupine meatballs, bird in the nest, chicken, steak, and corned beef. Mom also made a spinach and meat thing in an attempt to make us eat a veggie none of us liked (though I like it now). As my list suggests, I don't get especially nostalgic over your cousin's cooking (and I can't recall her making a single thing for me in the 16 years since I moved out for good, except maybe 1-2 Thanksgiving turkeys over a decade ago). All of which is to say that unless Mom was a great cook AND her children are willing to eat what she makes, I figure the memory of Mom's cooking will rarely be especially fond.
aaron: i would imagine that the goldschmidt, kellogg and taub kids all have pretty much the same kind of memories of their mothers' cooking!
taubaholic: ah! so you do have good memories of my cooking!
Aha, so you admit that the garlic press didn't accidently fall into the garbage.
Joany is a great cook. Really. I'm sure our kids have fond memories of Mrs. Sherman's chicken or the packets of oatmeal she served them each school day for 4 years in a row. But hey!, what about my apple or chocolate chip pancakes or my animal shaped pancakes. These also were a hit with the kids long before Rachel Ray was out of diapers. Our kids' arteries have a plaque dedicated to my creativity.
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larry: you have ruined my comment section. please learn how to publish your comments so that they are not published in triplicate and under my blogging name. as it turns out, oatmeal is very good for people because it reduces cholesterol, and i am sure that, somewhere in my mind i was aware of that healthy fact, in addition to just wanting to get the kids' breakfast out of the way and send them off to school.
dc niecie: yeah,yeah, yeah, but what do you think of my food?! i mean, really, what about those glazed carrots?!
You are making me LOL!!! Especially the Larry "needs to become clutter free". I'm reminisicng,, come to my house and you will LOL too!!! Must be a disease, that runs in MEN!!! Love, Evy
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